Hello and welcome!
Today is one of those days where I literally feel everything.
I feel triggered, emotional, angry, resentful, fat, unhealthy, uninspired, exhausted and more. I don’t feel like parenting or wife-ing. It’s the kind of day I’d like to be by myself but I have zero chance of it happening. I have no sanctuary. No peace. My mind and living space is crowded and chaotic. My work life is linked to humans enduring troubling times. There is no Ghandi in sight.
As I sit here feeling hopeless, I can’t ignore the depths of my internal heartbreak. I’m fortunate to know that these feelings are temporary. As I practice ‘gratitude’ I have the ability to bounce back quicker to my more balanced self. I’m always seeking avenues into trying to keep my vibrations up. It can be exhausting but it’s necessary. I often think of those who can’t shake these feelings. Those who feel depressed day to day, pretending they’re ok but they’re dying on the inside, my heart truly goes out to you and I sincerely hope that you heal. Depression is a b**** and I don’t wish it on anyone.
For the last two weeks I’ve been thinking about the late actor Robin Williams a lot. His death was a complete shock to almost everyone that knew of him. A talent like his is a rarity. I often wonder about the minds of those who make people laugh or light up. It’s like there is a unwritten rule that the funny and creative folk have to sometimes suffer for their art. So many talented people have taken their own lives. It’s astonishing and deeply sorrowful. I think I could be slightly mourning the essence of Robin Williams because he’s still so relevant and his energy has the ability to reach. His mask never let us know about how he was feeling. I don’t know if anyone ever truly knew how deeply he was feeling.
Feelings can be complex. I’m emotional as f***. I pretty much feel like the different one in my family and sometimes amongst friends. I take on other people’s feelings and I often keep mine to myself. I over think and feel hard done by on occasions. I can love hard and have often felt that this attribute has been taken for granted. Real talk!
On the flipside I’m grateful for the ability to realise my blessings. I’m grateful in knowing that bad times are temporary and my personal ‘trinity’ are looking out for me.
Although I’m stuck thinking about the ‘lack’ at this present time, when these times present themselves it often means there’s a shift about to take place. Feeling uncomfortable and uncertain can be the lead to something positive.
If you ever feel rotten, I suggest you write about it. Keep it private or share it, whatever suits you. Writing helps me take the ‘edge’ off.
I hope you have peace. I never truly knew the value of peace until recently. Peace is everything and more. It’s the reset button that we sometimes need.
When I do feel peace, it feels like a gift.
I hope you can gift your feelings with some peace in whatever you’re experiencing. Don’t ever ignore your feelings. Pay attention and take care.xx