Happy February to ya!
It’s been a busy month and we’re only half way through.
My beautiful boy turned 4 last week and I’m in awe of his existence and growth. He’s rude, cheeky, inquisitive, quick, hilarious, gorgeous, smart, surprising, moody and everything else you’d expect from a 4 year old. My boy is also very spiritual and can sense the slightest change in me. Along with this he’s sensitive and caring. I know for sure he’s here to look after me. I am his mum but he is my guide and carer in ways I am yet to learn.
I love you son!
This week has been so full. I’m loving my new job even though it can be crazy at times. Majority of the staff are so lovely and kind. It’s so heartwarming to be amongst lovely people. It’s funny because we work in what can be deemed a hostile environment and it’s not entirely that. I work in a ‘PRU’ which is a pupil referral unit for secondary aged pupils excluded from mainstream education. The children we work with have a range of issues and no two issues are the same. There are days where we see great breakthroughs and there are days where there are complete breakdowns. All in all these kids need nurturing and healthy love. Even the ones that swear at me and wish me the worst. Yes even them.
Thursday just gone was Valentine’s day. I’m half for the day and half not. The origins are quite gloomy but I love anything that promotes love. My husband believes the merchants have taken the day to gain profit from it. He’s not entirely wrong as it’s like this with other key dates in the year. What I now take from these days are the sentiments, gestures, conversations and goodness shared. For this alone I’m thankful.
There have been pockets of things that have popped up this week that have shown me how much I’m loved. Right now as it stands in life, I feel so valued. I’ve had to work so hard over the years to accept and embrace goodness and hang onto it. Many times I have blocked my blessings without really knowing at the time. Many times I’ve had disbelief that I could genuinely be loved or be loved like I feel now. It took me a lot of pain to get here but I’m so grateful the pain brought me to this side of relief and joy.
So here I stand saying thank you. If you’re anyone who has thanked me, shared your heart with me, showed up for me, helped me, been real with me and list goes on, I’m thankful for you. I’m thankful for the laughter, advice, conversations, experience, hardships, reality checks and more. You have helped me grow.
I’m also thankful for my faith. My ability to pray and to be humble.
As a mortal I am thankful for my husband who I know chose me and I him. Regardless of what goes down he’s a gift to me from the almighty. He and I created life together and that is the biggest thing I’m grateful for. This man has helped me to love myself and has encouraged me to be easy on myself through the way he loves me. Marriage isn’t always beautiful. There are some painful and heartbreaking occasions but you have to make the decision whether to stay or stray. It can be f***ing hard. Don’t be disillusioned. Marriage takes work but that’s a different blog post altogether yo!
Before I go I’m shouting out how thankful I am. I don’t have the best of everything but I have the best of what I’ve got. I’m at the most financially challenging time of my life but I feel rich. My home is small and crowded but the feeling is ‘family’. My children are my lifeline and I am so in love with my little family. I sound cheesy as f*** but this is how I feel. I still stumble upon times of sadness and depression but I now have the ability to speak up more. That in itself is huge.
If you feel thankful for anything may you see it, feel it and share it.
wishing you nothing but love and ‘more vibes’ xx