Can you believe June is upon us just like that? This year is simply whizzing by.

At this moment in time I should be asleep. I get disturbed once and on goes my phone. I’m sadly addicted to elements of social media and I have to admit it and own it. 😞

Anyway, recently and more prominently I’ve been thinking about the balance between being good and downright wicked. I’ve also been thinking about my once ‘very negative self’ compared to the work in progress person who I am becoming.

This year I’ve had to deal with some rather challenging experiences. Some at the hands of people who don’t know me very well and who have tried to bring me down in ways I would never have imagined. I’m sure at some point you may have experienced something similar.

As a result, I’ve had to condition and remind myself that I am a good person and not hang onto the negatives and untruths. This got me thinking. I may think I’m a good person but who really determines if you are or not? I think many people think they’re good or doing good but in actual fact, cause grief unto themselves or others. My goodness, I hope I don’t do that! I know I may cause my husband grief but that comes with the territory 😆.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s ok for me to consider I’m a good person but most importantly I need to remember these key things: balance, honesty, intent and consideration.

Balance: With good comes bad. It’s just the way it is but it’s what you learn from the bad is important.

Honesty: Keep it real! Check in with yourself. Could you have approached the situation different? Are you at peace with your actions?

Intent: What are your intentions in this situation? Are you here to heal, hurt or hinder?

Consideration: How do you think the other person is feeling? How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

I’m no way wholesome and I wouldn’t try or want to be but I do think of people a lot when I interact with them. I think about my approach, energy, language, movement, volume and tone. I can be very animated at times and I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s who I am. I can also be less animated, it depends on the person or arena. I’m not just one dimensional.

So, going back to the good person bit, I think how others feel and speak of you in general whether you’re present or not is an indication of your moral compass.

What others would do for you is also another indication but don’t get wrapped up in that too much. I’ve gone above and beyond for some folk and it hasn’t been mirrored. That happens and you have to remember, if you’re doing something for someone, do it because you want to do it for them and expect nothing in return. If you are blessed with the same kindness, see it as a blessing! Trust me, I didn’t always think this way. Maybe some are reading this and they’re remembering a time when they did the most for me and I didn’t mirror the favour. I openly apologise if I didn’t extend my gratitude and if you want to reach out please do contact me ❤.

Now let’s think about those we deem as wicked people. I think there are different degrees of wickedness as there are different degrees of goodness. As I’m writing this I keep hearing the words my friends Nana and ‘Jek’ offered me when I was relaying a situation to them. They gently reminded me that the person who was speaking ill of me is showing a reflection of who they really are and are feeling bad about ‘who they are’. I was also reminded not to believe their perception of me. What my two friends didn’t know is that they gave me a new perspective. They empowered me to see the alternative and more positive angle to a very depressing matter. This conversation enabled me to proceed and approach the situation with a different feeling in my heart. I’m grateful for that moment. Thank you ladies!

The person who I deem ‘wicked’ is a person I actually feel sad for. I feel sad for the sorrow they show for themself and I also know that Karma is strong and is awaiting. Not just for them but all of us. We also don’t know when Karma will visit us or how it will present itself.

No one is exempt from Karma, but know that when you do wicked things to people, please understand that the universe or God (depends on your beliefs) is not sleeping. Rest assured, if your intentions are not good, it’ll come back to you. It’s also down to vibrations. If you’re emitting bad vibes, that’s very telling of your core. Some people don’t even portray they’re wicked, they tactfully use their mind to play with other minds. Still wicked!

A very wise woman (Mrs Williams I love you!) Always use to say ‘walk good and live good’. She was full of Dominican proverbs/sayings but this is one of the top ones for me. It simply means, if you live a good life, you’ll reap it’s benefits. It also means do good unto others. The older generation are great for sayings. You know why? It’s because they’ve lived it! They’ve seen Karma. They have decades of experience so listen intently to the elders. We have a lot to learn from them.

When I was in my 20’s I wasn’t always so kind to myself. I also use to speak before thinking. I use to put myself down pretty often mainly about my size or abilities. I can sometimes do that now but I often break those thoughts with reminding myself of who I am, how far I’ve come and what greatness I can do. Believe me, I chat to myself loads.

I think there is an internal Karma within us. Right now I’m not being kind to myself because I’m not resting when I should and I’m currently not eating properly. I do know the consequences and I know the consequences will hit me hard. What I can do is make an effort. I can make small pockets of change. I can make time to rest even when it seems impossible. I can eat well when I can and not beat myself up when I don’t. Small changes are far greater than none at all. I’ve taken up the effort to be kind to myself through others. Others would be sad I wasn’t kind to myself and I caught onto that. My faith also helped me wake up. I’m not the size and weight I want to be but I’m a lot healthier than I was this time last year. Whenever I complete a walk or a session at the gym, I look up and thank God. I give thanks because I couldn’t do these things last year due to health challenges. I also congratulate myself because I’m doing it. I’m glad to be here and through all obstacles I’m still glad to be me.

So Karma, I’m choosing to be kind to others and myself. When I’m not, I know you’ll be the reminder I need to put me back into shape.

Karma I love you and thank you for your lessons.xxx